Bang!
Bang bang bang!!!
Boooooooooooooooooooooom!
Bang bang whooooosh ...
BANG!!!
Yes, dear readers, it’s Chinese New Year once again. This year will be the ninth time that I have experienced what is perhaps the most colourful – and the loudest – of Malaysia’s pantheon of cultural festivals.
Despite a month or so of almost continuous monsoon rain, the firecrackers, rockets, bangers and ‘bunga api’ (fire flowers) are out in force, to celebrate the coming of the Lunar New Year of the Ox.
Well, I say ‘in force’, but I can’t help noticing a slight downturn in the amount of firecrackers lighting up our sky last night, nor could I avoid the impression that the decibel level and duration of the cannonades was somewhat reduced compared to previous years. It just goes to show what the economic slowdown and the credit crunch can do to sales of firecrackers for the Lunar New Year season. Or perhaps the authorities have been a little bit more successful in confiscating illegal fireworks this year. I don’t know.
But whatever the truth is, it is heartening to see that tradition and culture still triumph despite the vagaries of economics, and rain. Long may it continue (though next year, give me some cotton wool for my ears, ah!).
So here’s wishing all my Chinese friends, colleagues and neighbours a hearty Gong Xi Fatt Chai and much prosperity and happiness for the year of the Ox. I have a feeling that we are all going to need it....
Monday, 26 January 2009
Friday, 2 January 2009
2008 - a Retrospective
This one has come a bit late because of an irritating computer failure which meant that my dear PC had to be taken back to the shop and reformatted! Luckily for my dear reader(s), my computer is perfectly well now, so I thought I would look back on the year that just was.
Most newspapers every year publish predictions for the coming year, predictions about political events, the economy, you know, just the very things that are totally impossible to predict but which make great copy and sell papers. So, last year, just before 2008 started, I did just that - I made a number of (totally safe) predictions about 2008, just for the hell of it.
Let's see how many of them I got right!
Now as I said earlier, my predictions for 2008 were of course totally safe, so effectively they were bound to come true. But you never know, in these turbulent times, anything can happen! So let's see....
Here is the first prediction I made about 2008:
1. A lot of people will die in 2008, and a lot of people will be born too.
Yep. Got that right! 2008 was an absolute bloodbath, with the usual atrocious numbers of people being butchered and slaughtered in places like Iraq, Afghanistan, Darfur and of course the good old U S of A. Also, there were plenty of sad losses of famous people, notably Heath Ledger, Paul Newman and more recently Harold Pinter. And Eartha Kitt...
As for lots of people being born, on the positive side, yep indeed, there were plenty of births to replenish the species, though I don't have the full figures for you offhand....Welcome to Earth, little ones...
2. In 2008, some people will make a lot more money than they did in 2007, while unfortunately others will not be so lucky.
Well, true I suppose, unless you are in the property markets, where a lot of people unfortunately lost their shirts due to the collapse of the US sub-prime market and the financial tsunami that followed. I guess the usual suspects will have done alright, such as arms dealers and manufacturers, funeral directors and people who write books on how to get rich.
3. Sometime in early February, there will be a lot of firecrackers going off in Kuching and other parts of Malaysia.
Yep. Definitely happened! Though I detected a slight reduction in the noise levels during CNY in 2008. Let's see if it gets any quieter this year what with the slowdown!!!
4. By the end of the year, there will be a new President of the United States. And it will not be George Bush.
Well, yes, though technically the Lord and Saviour Barack Obama takes over on January 20 this year, but we definitely knew he was the annointed one by the end of 2008!
5. The President of Russia will, in 2008, be of Slavic extraction.
Yep. Both of them!!
6. It will be very hot in most parts of Australia, South East Asia and India.
Oh yes!! My bottled sweat could fill a couple of olympic sized swimming pools by now I'm sure...!! (Grosss!!)
7. Computers will mostly run on electricity.
Though I'm sure the Japanese are working on a sushi-powered laptop AS WE SPEAK!!
8. The Moon in the night sky will change its shape slightly every day.
True, though it would be nice if you could actually SEE the process in action once in a while!
9. The Pope will be a Catholic.
Is the Pope a Catholic? Do Bears do their stuff in the woods?!?
10. The price of petrol will go up in Malaysia.
WRONG!! Well, actually right also because of the steep hike in petrol prices which shocked me when I returned from my holiday in Spain back in June. But then they just kept going down and down like a ski slope. When will it end?!?
So, as you can see, folks, it is easy to make predictions that will come true about the coming year. So, here's my safe predictions for 2009, though this time there is a touch of irony. Read them and weep with mirth....
1. 2009 will prove to be a very different year from 2008.
2. The Guantanamo Bay concentration camp in Cuba will be closed down. And sold to Disney.
3. Someone will have a pop at the new US President (then again, I said the same thing about Bush!)
4. Former President George W Bush will record a hip-hop album with Beyonce and Kanye West.
5. Aliens from another planet will make contact with us. And immediately regret it...
6. Michael Jackson will play the Joker in the next Batman film.
7. Someone will finally make a movie about World War Two without any American soldiers in it..
8. Osama Bin Laden will publish his memoirs and they will outsell Bush's autobiography...
9. President Obama will order an investigation into what REALLY happened on September 11th 2001.
10. The price of petrol will go up in Malaysia....
That's it!! Happy New Year!! Happy Happy Happy!!
Most newspapers every year publish predictions for the coming year, predictions about political events, the economy, you know, just the very things that are totally impossible to predict but which make great copy and sell papers. So, last year, just before 2008 started, I did just that - I made a number of (totally safe) predictions about 2008, just for the hell of it.
Let's see how many of them I got right!
Now as I said earlier, my predictions for 2008 were of course totally safe, so effectively they were bound to come true. But you never know, in these turbulent times, anything can happen! So let's see....
Here is the first prediction I made about 2008:
1. A lot of people will die in 2008, and a lot of people will be born too.
Yep. Got that right! 2008 was an absolute bloodbath, with the usual atrocious numbers of people being butchered and slaughtered in places like Iraq, Afghanistan, Darfur and of course the good old U S of A. Also, there were plenty of sad losses of famous people, notably Heath Ledger, Paul Newman and more recently Harold Pinter. And Eartha Kitt...
As for lots of people being born, on the positive side, yep indeed, there were plenty of births to replenish the species, though I don't have the full figures for you offhand....Welcome to Earth, little ones...
2. In 2008, some people will make a lot more money than they did in 2007, while unfortunately others will not be so lucky.
Well, true I suppose, unless you are in the property markets, where a lot of people unfortunately lost their shirts due to the collapse of the US sub-prime market and the financial tsunami that followed. I guess the usual suspects will have done alright, such as arms dealers and manufacturers, funeral directors and people who write books on how to get rich.
3. Sometime in early February, there will be a lot of firecrackers going off in Kuching and other parts of Malaysia.
Yep. Definitely happened! Though I detected a slight reduction in the noise levels during CNY in 2008. Let's see if it gets any quieter this year what with the slowdown!!!
4. By the end of the year, there will be a new President of the United States. And it will not be George Bush.
Well, yes, though technically the Lord and Saviour Barack Obama takes over on January 20 this year, but we definitely knew he was the annointed one by the end of 2008!
5. The President of Russia will, in 2008, be of Slavic extraction.
Yep. Both of them!!
6. It will be very hot in most parts of Australia, South East Asia and India.
Oh yes!! My bottled sweat could fill a couple of olympic sized swimming pools by now I'm sure...!! (Grosss!!)
7. Computers will mostly run on electricity.
Though I'm sure the Japanese are working on a sushi-powered laptop AS WE SPEAK!!
8. The Moon in the night sky will change its shape slightly every day.
True, though it would be nice if you could actually SEE the process in action once in a while!
9. The Pope will be a Catholic.
Is the Pope a Catholic? Do Bears do their stuff in the woods?!?
10. The price of petrol will go up in Malaysia.
WRONG!! Well, actually right also because of the steep hike in petrol prices which shocked me when I returned from my holiday in Spain back in June. But then they just kept going down and down like a ski slope. When will it end?!?
So, as you can see, folks, it is easy to make predictions that will come true about the coming year. So, here's my safe predictions for 2009, though this time there is a touch of irony. Read them and weep with mirth....
1. 2009 will prove to be a very different year from 2008.
2. The Guantanamo Bay concentration camp in Cuba will be closed down. And sold to Disney.
3. Someone will have a pop at the new US President (then again, I said the same thing about Bush!)
4. Former President George W Bush will record a hip-hop album with Beyonce and Kanye West.
5. Aliens from another planet will make contact with us. And immediately regret it...
6. Michael Jackson will play the Joker in the next Batman film.
7. Someone will finally make a movie about World War Two without any American soldiers in it..
8. Osama Bin Laden will publish his memoirs and they will outsell Bush's autobiography...
9. President Obama will order an investigation into what REALLY happened on September 11th 2001.
10. The price of petrol will go up in Malaysia....
That's it!! Happy New Year!! Happy Happy Happy!!
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