Sunday 30 November 2008

What's in a Name?

Hey, guess what? We’ve got an infamous world dictator working at my university!

That’s right!

Mr. Hitler works in our administration office and is responsible, among other things, for helping me to renew my immigration visa every two years. Despite his name, he is in fact a wonderfully peaceful and pleasant man and always smiles at me when he sees me. And he definitely does not have a moustache, nor does he strut around the campus with his arm pointing skywards and trying to invade Poland!

In fact, I am spoilt for choice if I want to speak to a historical figure in my university. For instance, there is a lecturer called Stalin working in our place. Unlike his infamous Russian namesake, he definitely lacks a moustache and is apparently not inclined to butcher millions of his people or purge his intellectuals. As far as I know, anyway...

And why stick to the Twentieth Century when you can go back to Ancient Rome! In my place of work, I have two colleagues named after great Romans. We have a Nero, and a Caesar. Unbelievable! History come to life here in tropical Borneo!!

It would appear that here in Sarawak at least, there is a tendency among some families to name their sons after famous figures from history, sport, entertainment or politics. Now, I’m not against naming children after heroes such as John Wayne, Superman, Clint Eastwood or even Churchill or Roosevelt. But naming your kids after the bad guys?

I mean, what were these parents thinking when their little bundles of joy popped into the world, kicking and screaming and waiting to be given a name, only to be given the names of two of the most murderous bloodletters in the history of humanity, Hitler and Stalin!

As Larkin said in his poem ‘This Be The Verse’: “They f*** you up, your mum and dad. They do not mean to, but they do...”

Of course, I suspect that this kind of gratuitous misnaming could only happen over here, where perhaps Hitler and Stalin had a somewhat minimal impact historically and culturally, but you never know.

What I do know is that if someone goes into a bar in the UK and says their name is Hitler, they wouldn’t get out of there alive, unless the bar is full of skinheads, in which case they might buy you a pint. And if you go into a bar in Warsaw claiming to be called Stalin, they might set fire to your moustache!

So, given this penchant for interesting and iconic names, here is a list of Prof. Madder’s top 10 predictions for the most likely unlikely names to be given to babies born this year:

1. Subprime

2. James Bond

3. Beijing Olympics

4. George Bush

5. Obama

6. Iron Man

7. Harry Potter

8. Credit Crunch

9. Britney

10. Hitler (?!)

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