Gallows Humour

As anyone who has never been through a traumatic event will tell you, laughter is the best therapy.

So, my wife was strongly advised to keep her spirits up with a few laughs to take away some of the fear and anxiety of her recent mastectomy. And being married to me, a Jedi Master of Dark Humour, she doesn't have much choice...

On the face of it, having a mastectomy to treat breast cancer is about as funny, to borrow an image from fantasy writer Stephen Donaldson, as a sack full of severed limbs. But Nurse Hajjijah, the marvellous cancer counsellor at the SGH, advised us to make a few jokes about Annie's condition. So here is a compilation of a few funnies that I have made use of to cheer Annie up over the last few days and weeks.

Firstly, I must mention one of the oldest medical jokes which, I am sure, was told in Hippocrates' day and must be part of the established folklore of the medical profession all over the world. There are many versions of this joke, yet it never fails to make me shake my gut vigorously in hysterics.

It goes like this. A young man goes to hospital to have his left arm amputated. After the operation, he asks the doctor whether he will be able to play the violin. The doctor replies positively that, with special equipment, practice and patience he should be able to use his remaining arm to play the violin. "That's fantastic"! the young man beams, "because I couldn't play the violin before!"

And the joke doesn't seem to lose its humourous flavour much with repetition in a different guise. Consider this one: last week I had one of my front teeth extracted at the dentists. After the operation, I asked the dentist if I could still play the mouth organ. The dentist replied that I should have no problem, so I replied "thank God for that! I couldn't play the mouth organ before!".

And so it goes on... Annie was in stitches (oops, sorry darling!) when I told that joke to her and I even managed to make a medical student who came to see Annie laugh (though she probably knew about 20,000 versions of that joke!).

Thunder storm. Better log off!!

That's better. So, there's another way I have of cheering up Annie, especially when she was about to go into the operating theatre. I just say to her "don't worry sweetie, you'll be back playing football again before long" (even though she doesn't know how to play football......)

I just want to finally share with you one bit of really dark humour related to serious illness - but I haven't yet told this one to Annie. It goes like this. An old man goes to the doctor. The doctor tells him that he has terminal cancer and Alzheimer's Disease. "Thank God for that" the old man replies, "at least I don't have cancer...."

Better get out of here before they start to throw things at me. Then, I really will need my pills....