Facial Growth Shock Horror!

With all the excitement going on in my life at the moment, I thought I would do something really radical and out of character. I have decided to grow a beard!!

For the last two or three weeks, my upper lip and chin have become the site of a wondrously bushy, black and white goatee. The moustache is black, while the tufts of hair either side of my chin have an Amitabh Bachhanesque whiteness.

Why grow a beard, especially in this climate, you might ask! Well, beards and me have crossed swords many times before. The last time was about ten years ago in Poland when I grew a similar goatee to go with my Byronesque long black hair of the time, and one of my American friends told me that I "looked like a hood", which can't be good I suppose!

Further back than that, much further back, I had grown a beard while an undergraduate. A full black sea-captain beard that would probably these days get me a part in a Pirates of the Caribbean movie. Fat Cap'n Madder! In fact, my degree graduation photo has me standing there all grand in my cap and gown, with my facial fungus making me look older then than I am now!

The thing is, I actually hate shaving. It's such a time-wasting chore. Also, it's quite a dangerous time-wasting chore because I use a wet shaver, and no matter how hard I try, I always manage to draw blood when I shave in the morning. Once, when I was at a conference in Kota Kinabalu, I almost cut my nose off because I was shaving in a hurry. The only safe shave I have ever had was with an electric shaver, but my old trusty Philishave died just after I came over to Malaysia!

Of course, the unkind among you will say: "well, that's what you get for being such a fat bastard! Round faces are harder to shave than thin ones!" Well, I've had enough of feeling sorry for myself - I have decided to change my appearance and look more professorial and serious - hence the beard! And, the amount of shaving I have to do in the morning has been halved, because I only shave the cheeks and neck!

Well, so far the reaction to my metamorphosis at work has been largely positive. So far, nobody has burst out laughing, but then again, Malaysians are so polite in that way! Some of my Malay colleagues (who like to have little goatees but often complain that they cannot grow beards) are mightily impressed with my facial fungus. One of them the other day actually said that I look more Malay now.

My students think I look cool (or did they say I look like a bloody fool - must be going deaf!) and my dear wife, who has lost nearly all of her hair, seems to be warming to the fact that I now have a little more.

So I will keep my beard for a while, as an experiment in personal presentation and to be in sympathy for my wife's temporary hair loss. Besides, I want to look more intellectual!

But, sorry folks, it's against blog policy to show you what my new beard looks like! You'll have to come and see for yourselves!!