The Beetle Saviour

One of my missions is to save the lives of beetles that have found themselves lying on their backs. As you may know, when beetles, especially the large stags and dung beetles, lie on their backs, they cannot get back on their feet again. Eventually, they will kick their armoured legs feebly until they die, or until a predator comes along and does the job quicker.

So whenever I see one of these rather striking creatures in trouble, I always try to right it back onto its feet. This is what I did today, in fact, when I was leaving my university. I was just about to make for the exit when I saw a fair-sized dung beetle floundering on its back, its little legs moving about in that pleading way that only creatures who can't speak to you can pull off.

So, I put on my Beetle Saviour hat and went to work, carefully trying to flip the struggling insect over with the end of my flip-flop.

That's when the trouble began. Now as I'm sure you all appreciate, a drowning man will clutch at anything in order to save himself. Anything. And that universal survival principle also applies to dung beetles undergoing sudden rescue at the end of a giant human's right shoe.

So, no sooner had my flip-flop started to flip flop the beetle over, the relieved little creature promptly grabbed hold of my flip flop, all six armour-plated legs wrapped firmly and stubbornly around the leather sole.

I couldn't possibly drive my car with a four-inch dung beetle attached to my shoe, so tried to prise it off. However, the legs wouldn't budge, and they made an ominous crackling, snapping sound like twigs whenever I tried to prise them free. The beetle just held on tighter to my shoe, and was absolutely determined not to let go now that its life was saved.

I reached into my bag for some tool I could use to move the beetle off my shoe without hurting it, or falling over because I had to stand on one leg due to the beetle clinging to my shoe. So, I found a white envelope, which had the advantage of being flexible, thin and not made from my flesh!

After several attempts to prise the beetle's legs off from my shoe, accompanied by the disturbing crackling sound of the beetle's little legs holding on tight for dear life, I eventually got it off, resulting in the poor little insect falling to the tiled floor with quite a crunch but, thankfully, landing on all six of its slowly moving but completely intact legs. It didn't appear hurt and no blood was spilled.

I apologised to the creature for making its rescue such a stressful experience, put my shoe back on and the envelope back in my bag, then went about my way, feeling rather pleased with myself.

So my advice to you, dear readers, is that when you see creatures like this lying on their backs struggling for dear life, don't just leave them there to die. Do try to help them back on their feet. But be very careful how you do it!

For your information dear readers, Prof Madder and Wife are going to Europe for a much needed holiday next week. We will be flying to London, then spending most of June at my parents' villa in Spain. Needless to say, there will be plenty of sun-drenched Spanish posts and this time I will try to remember to put some photos in the blog!

Adios, Amigos!!