The Co-operative Principle

As if life weren't fine and dandy enough at the moment, this morning I experienced a practical lesson in what some linguists and communication experts call "the Co-operative Principle". This basically states that, all things being equal, human communication, and by extension all human intercourse, is predicated on co-operation between the people involved. In other words, there is no point in my talking to you if I don't think you might say something back to me or do something for me, and vice versa.

But today, I saw what happens when this principle is mis-applied to the movement of motor vehicles along busy streets in Kuching, Sarawak.

My wife and I were trying to get some banking business done before she goes into hospital, so we ploughed our way through the morning traffic to one of the local banks. Now picture this. The bank is situated in a commercial building lot which does not have anywhere near enough car parking spaces. And of course, all of the spaces I could see were taken. So I did what many of us do in situations like this - I dropped my wife off so that she could go to the bank and I could drive round the block to find a parking space, or kill time until she came out of the bank.

That was my big mistake.

I slowly wound my way through the traffic, past some building work which had blocked off a significant portion of empty car parking spaces, and attempted to find a passage round the back of the building, so that I could come round the other side again and meet up with my wife who was undoubtedly waiting for me outside the bank.

But, the narrow two-lane road at the back of the building was blocked on one lane by parked cars, including one amazingly stupid piece of parking whereby a car was actually planted on the corner of the street, with just about enough space for me to pass with my paintwork intact. I mean if this was art, it would win the Turner prize for creatively bloody minded parking.

And of course, two large cars came round the corner towards me in the opposite direction, and could not pass me because of the creatively parked car. And I could not reverse because there was half of Kuching's car population queueing up behind me. The word 'trapped' comes to mind.

So I did what anyone who is in a hurry to pick up his ill wife who does not like to be out in the hot sun would do in this situation. I swore, waved my hands like a gorilla and signalled to the other drivers to reverse back. But being bastards, of course, they did nothing of the kind.

Good thing I have the micro-manoeuvring skills of Houdini when it comes to driving a car in confined spaces. And thank God for power steering. Therefore, after some really hairy reverse-forward-reverse surgical manoeuvres (in which I did actually make microscopic contact with the bumper of a parked van but don't tell the wife!!), I managed to make room for the two cars to pass me. I waved apologetically to the drivers as they raced past ....

But my troubles were not at an end. Oh no....

When I rounded the corner, I came face to face with my next obstacle - a gold Proton Wira driven by an elderly lady. If she is reading this blog, I sincerely hope she accepts my apologies for what I did next. I waved at her to go back in my impatient white bastard fashion, but she could not go back because she couldn't see what was behind her and could not reverse into the only empty parking space.

Malaysians are so polite, it makes me cry with embarrassment sometimes - the lady simply got out of her car and came towards me. I thumbed down my window in anticipation of an earful of abuse or scolding, but instead the lady simply asked me to help her to reverse into the space behind her, so I could get past.

So I got out, turned off my engine and locked the car door (you never know - could be a car-jacking trick). Then I eased my bulk into her car and, with several very scary reverses, managed to ease her car into a safe place so that the traffic could move again. She thanked me, I thanked her, and headed back to my car which was still holding up the cars behind.

So the day was saved by a simple act of co-operation. Although I was angry, impatient and frankly in need of my pills, I saw that all it took was for one car to move to the side in order to remove the bottleneck. It was simple - I just helped the lady, because she was not as experienced in close manoeuvring as I was.

But you should have seen some cars - even after I had moved the lady over to the side, cars were still trying to get into the gap left by her car, until they saw my Matrix coming towards them, and they moved back. As the road was wider at this point, I could pass through and get to my wife.

Now the interesting thing about this episode is that everyone in that car-jam was acting in their own self-interest, without the slightest sense of the consequences for other people. The road was clearly marked as a two-way road yet some cars had taken up one lane and blocked it off, making it impossible to pass unless of course you were driving a tank or flying a helicopter.

This is what happens when you don't co-operate and think of the consequences of where you are parking. This is what happens when you think only of yourself, and damn everyone else to hell.

You get chaos, anger and misery. I was angry too, and in a hurry, but I didn't let that stop me from co-operation. I managed to overcome my impatience, and do something positive.

So next time you are in this type of situation, you have three choices:

Avoid - of course if you can, don't get in this situation in the first place. Go somewhere else or do your banking at less busy times. Easier said than done most of the time, though.

Analyse - think of what is happening in front of you and behind you. What will happen if I do this, and he does this.... Treat every situation as a system, made up of parts that interact. Ask yourself how to solve problems that arise when these parts don't interact properly. Then act.

Empathise - think of others - they are also trying to get past just like you. If you can help them, do so. You are not the only creature on the surface of this planet...

We don't have much time on this world, so we might as well try our best to help each other, and make our lives just that little bit more bearable. By applying the Co-Operative Principle.